Allow me to introduce you to my New York

New York, New York, the big city of big dreams.  My hometown.

If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.

New York’s mystique has been eternal, and for as long as the city has existed, so has art inspired by it. “Saturday Night Fever” exposed the disco era to the masses, “Do The Right Thing” exposed the hood, countless Woody Allen movies introduced us to a new brand of neurotic humor, and “Sex and the City” and “Girls” inspired countless women to relocate and change their lives.

There’s more, there’s way more. How I met Your Mother, Seinfeld, Wall Street, 42nd Street, Midnight Cowboy, Taxi Driver, Breakfast At Tiffany’s, The Jeffersons,   30 Rock, Law & Order, Man on Wire.

Even the Muppets took Manhattan, and they could have gone anywhere!

Even the Muppets took Manhattan, and they could have gone anywhere!

Yep, New York City’s mystique is eternal and unquestionable, and there is nothing that I can do or say to make you think differently. People come here from all over the world to grind it out in their respective fields. Diplomacy, fashion, art, finance, technology, there is simply nothing in this city that is not represented.

If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.

Countless times I have read mens web sites and forums, all swelling with love for my city, with people making it their life goal to move here. Indeed, New York City is a fantasy for many. Like having sex with Emma Watson.

{{A pic of Emma Watson should go here to keep your attention, but I’m trying to make a point}}

But what if Emma Watson was an abusive cunt? What if she made your life a living hell? How would you react? And how would other people react? I bet you there are men so thirsty out there, that they would let Emma Watson abuse and humiliate them every they, and they would chastise you for refusing that kind of punishment. But enough about the Emma Watson analogy, I’m sure she’s a lovely person.

Don’t get me wrong, the New York fantasy is real. Clubs can pop off every night of the week. Ballers can ball. Hell, NYC is home to so many modeling agencies, to an outsider its hard to imagine this city without picturing one in every 10 girls being a high fashion model.

But the road to the New York fantasy is paved with so many hardships, its enough to make some flip out, and some to quit chasing their fantasy, the same fantasy that drove them here in the first place. I have written about this before. I have written about how one by one, my friends are “settling” and becoming shells of their former selves. I have written about how in nightlife the odds are stacked decidedly against the men, even smack in the middle of Manhattan. I have written about the overworked, weary young professionals.  And yet noone listens to me seriously. The New York Mystique is strong.

But then I saw something that showed all the points I was making. The explosion of NYC frustrations, combined into one video. Prepare to see MY New York, the New York void of the mystique.

Yes. All of this was to introduce the following video. You Ready?

Yep. There it is. The infamous SantaCon fight. You may have seen it before, you may have gotten a few chuckles out of it, but let me tell you a bit more about this video and how it reflects on my city.

New York City’s culture is “Work Hard, Play Hard”, and as a result of that the biggest partiers are often the people that are the most overworked. Imagine working 14 hour days, feeling replaceable, and then going to a sausage fest bar and seeming a horde of people just like you.  There’s a reason why many people call New Years Eve, Halloween and St Patricks day “amateur hour”, because it is one of the few times these guys allow themselves to let loose, and they always go overboard.

SantaCon is New York City’s newest drinking holiday, but unlike the other “amateur hours”, there is nothing to hold it back. No children, no traditions, no family time, no heritage. None of that. Just put on some Santa gear and get fucked up.

The video is taken in the East Village neighborhood, one of the most hip and most expensive places to live. It’s reputation is that it’s a great place to meet girls, partially because of its proximity to NYU and partially because the neighborhoods cheap drinks and plentiful bars always attract young professionals. But how many women could you count in that video?


On a Saturday night, in one of the best NYC neighborhoods, there are zero women visible. It is just several angry, drunk and frustrated men, indistinguishable from each other because of their Santa outfits (instead of being indistinguishable because of the work “uniform”). This is what happens when the animal that is man is caged up for so long.

This isnt an isolated incident. This happens all the time. This happens when fantasy meets reality.

Don’t get me wrong – the fantasy DOES exist, its here, its real, and there will be times you’ll be so close you can almost touch it. But be ready to work, be ready to sacrifice, be ready to deal with the imminent frustrations.

Or learn how to hustle.

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8 Responses to Allow me to introduce you to my New York

  1. laidnyc says:

    What if Emma Watson was actually a plainfaced elf with a dyke haircut?

  2. NeoBushi says:

    I live in the east village. Currently touring Europe and getting much more enjoyment from these women than the brats back at home. The new york mystique is great but most of these hot girls are neurotic and not relationship worthy. It seems they are on more of a staycation than trying to build a real life. They just get an expensive apartment and expect amazing shit to happen. The dudes are burnt out if they are not gay hipsters. My lease is up in march and I’m thinking of getting a storage locker and moving to europe.

  3. Pingback: New York, New York, The City Of Big Dreams! | THECAPTAINPOWER.COM

  4. Myles says:

    Seems as though this “pent up bro looking to fight” epidemic is spreading everywhere. Right around 2 or 3 am these fools just let loose. Other than soccer hooligans, I’ve never seen anything like this when traveling. Santacon was a funny idea when I first heard about it but that video shows me a sign of decay in culture.

  5. john ben says:

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  6. jose says:

    Coming from the NYC “Fantasy NY” is great and yes it does exist! But the “Real NY” is a whole other beast! Sure the night scene here is fantastic as i used to parlay in it all the time. But “Real NY” is darker its where you can get robbed, beat up, shot or knifed, broke, addicted to a vice etc. A very real city where for $20.00 dollars you can get a crackhead install a new windshield on your ride better and cheaper than SafeLite!

    Anything goes here!
    Great Post!

  7. Pingback: Allow Me to Introduce You to My New York

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