Earlier today, I found some of my old blogs, livejournals, archived forum posts, and similar other writings from a long long time ago. This led to some pretty intense reflection on my end about the progress that I have made, the setbacks that I have encountered, and the future I’m trying to build for myself.
I am not the same person that I was in 2007, I was a greasy fat ex-athlete nerd with zero game, but DAMN did I have a lot of desire and drive.
Today I’m calm, relaxed, in better shape, but I would absolutely love to have that hunger back that I had in 2007.
Today’s existence has made me a little lethargic. Things are pretty fucking good. But they can always be better.
I have identified 3 different things, that can be both positives and negatives in my life, and I have decided to give up one of them. Maybe this would be the jump start I need to get my 2007 drive back. Maybe this idea is exactly what I need.
Why am I doing this in such an extreme, “take it or leave it” fashion? Because that’s what I react to. I react to intensity, I react to radical ideas and actions.
This November I will give up one of these things: pot, masturbation, unnecessary media. And you, my dear reader, will help me pick it out.
I will blog about my progress, changes, thoughts and effects of this throughout November. I will try to be as descriptive about everything as I can.
Now, for the pros, cons and exceptions of giving up each of these things
Pros: I have smoked pot in various amounts since college. In 2007, when my desire to improve my life was at an all time highest, I did not smoke (or didn’t smoke much). In order to recreate my most driven period, I have to recreate my most driven circumstance. I have always had this chip on my shoulder, and smoking weed helped silence it and calm it down. Maybe this chip needs to come back. Also, it will lead me to find new shit to do on Sundays.
Cons: right now I am calm, relaxed, positive, and it is almost impossible to get me angry and bothered. I think life is beautiful. I am afraid that without pot, I will revert to being an angry, disgruntled “I hate the world” asshole.
Pros: it has been shown by science that abstaining from masturbation raises your testosterone levels. It has been shown by experience that not ejaculating in a while gives you that drive, that hunger, to slay as much new tail as possible and to conquer the world. Studies have shown that porn watching is addictive and can fuck up real sex for you. In short, j-ing off too much is bad.
Cons: a raging dick might lead to some bad rash decisions, anxiety, and general “dont you dare fucking touch me” jumpiness. I don’t want to make bad decisions because my thirst is clouding my brain.
Exceptions: anything that happens with a chick does not count.
Unnecessary media (News, tv, social media, video games, etc).
Pros: television, the internet, smart phones, social networks, all of that shit is one giant constant distraction. I remember reading somewhere that it takes roughly 20-30 minutes to reach a level of deep focus on a task, and if you are constantly interrupted, you will never be able to reach or sustain that level of concentration. I have made some insane things happen when I lose myself to my thoughts, ideas and actions. And not having that media crutch will allow me to reach that state easier and constantly. Besides – do I really need to know what happens every single day? I bet you this is what will happen in a month of headlines – “the government is inept”, “democrats are bad”, “republicans are bad”, “feminists are bad”, “some guy said some things we were not expecting him to say”. At the height of the 2007-2008 financial crisis – I was blissfully unaware as the world is falling apart around me, because my life was still pretty good and i didn’t consume the vast amount of news media I do now (at the time, it was mostly video games).
Cons: I pride myself on being informed. If i am not informed I just feel like your basic “ignorant American”. I don’t want to be stupid.
Exceptions: anything work related. I have done several projects that use social media APIs, so sometimes I might need to use social media to test a thing or two. Also – since I will be updating my blog with my experiences – updating this blog does not count toward the goal. Books are ok (and are encouraged)
Ok readers, my November is in your hands!
UPDATE: Looks like the winner is all 3. I will be updating later today with more specifics