Are You a Nerd? Do you hate bars and clubs? Then why the fuck aren’t you a hipster yet?

Saturday night on 4/20 – I was the picture of a hipster – I was in a party in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, held at a art space, drinking a PBR tall boy, had my face painted, listening to a bunch of bands you probably never heard of. Later on I was discussing media perception amd narrative with a girl with pink hair, tattoos on her cleavage and a ring in her tongue. That tongue ring ended up in my mouth pretty soon

Hipster to the fucking core, and loving every second if it.

I’ve been going to “hipster” parties more and more recently and each time I had a blast. Even when I didn’t hook up with a girl – the night was always a huge success – the music, environment, conversation never failed to disappoint. This was a far cry from the “fratty” bar scene in my “home-field” of the Upper East Side, where when I didn’t hook up with a girl I felt like my night was wasted.

But Kid – Hipsters are awful!!

No they’re not. We think hipsters are awful for 2 main reasons:

1. Tattooed “non standard” looking girls are usually associated with radical feminists, and noone likes radical feminists. However I have found this to be the opposite – many hipster girls worship the styles of the 50 (except with more tats), and actually COOK the stuff they post on pinterest, as if yearning for the bygone era. I’ve found that most hipster girls are way less poisoned by society than the average “Sex & the City is my life I’m holding out for Mr Big” Upper East Side girls. A lot of hipster girls I meet are in loving, stable relationships. Mind blowing, I know

2. They’re nerds/feminine/androgynous/lame, HIPSTERS MAKE ME ANGRY, etc. Yes, sometimes they are. Hell, a lot of times they are, but that’s the point. Think of it like high school. If the jock bullies the nerd and makes his life miserable, the jock wins. If the jock bullies the nerd, and the nerd ignores it, does his own thing, and fucks girls way hotter than the jock – that will be a giant mind fuck. And that’s why so many “Manosphere”, “Game” and self improvement bloggers HATE hipsters – they were nerds that were trying to become jocks (and sometimes succeeding), but yet they cant simply fathom that nerds can do their own thing, have fun and get laid! In the societal definition of “Alpha”, “Beta” and “Omega” males – hipsters are none of the above. They are truly their own people without to much concern for pre-conceived notions.

Why are hipsters awesome?

They, for the most part, are incredibly welcoming. The “hipster sneer” is mostly a myth. Got something to contribute? They are ready to listen. You will be welcome, no matter who you are. What other scene can you say that about?

There is no “dress code”. While “Hipster Fashion” tends to evoke images of skinny jeans, fedoras and wool caps, that couldn’t be farther from the truth – I saw people there dressed in fratty polos, one guy wore a fur vest, one guy had a button up with a pocket protector and nerd glasses. Yes, hipster fashion is in fact way more far reaching than any other “look”. Don’t believe me? Go to a hipster party, then go to a generic bar/club. I bet you the former will have may more visual variety for dudes than the “untucked striped buttondown and jeans” look of the later.

This all sounds great! But where do I begin?

It’s different from town to town, and unfortunately some places don’t have hipsters *sadface*, but in New York City subscribing to the NoNonsense list is a pretty good start ( . While most of the hipsters I’ve met can be shy when talking to new people at bars, people really seem to come out of their shell at parties – the listings for which you can find at the link above. I have had no problems going to these parties by myself (because many of my friends irrationally  fear hipsters or Brooklyn) and then meeting some great people and having a wonderful time.

Convinced yet?

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10 Responses to Are You a Nerd? Do you hate bars and clubs? Then why the fuck aren’t you a hipster yet?

  1. Solo says:

    Minneapolis the hipster scene is getting bigger but its different and unique you can go to all hip hop club and see a bunch of hipsters rapping along to 2 pac it’s kind of a cool to see and some of those chicks are hnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggg!

  2. Matt Forney says:

    I think the stereotype about hipsters being cold and unfriendly comes from Portland hipsters, mainly because everyone in Portland (and the rest of the Pacific NW to a lesser extent) is cliquish and unfriendly. Not as much experience with NYC, but hipsters everywhere else I’ve been (Chicago, Madison etc.) are more welcoming.

  3. HeManMasterofthePooniverse says:

    I’ve not had the same welcoming from hipsters as the author.

  4. HeManMasterofthePooniverse says:

    Rochester, NY…about an hour east of Buffalo.
    I happen to enjoy these bars, as its pretty low stress. I fancy myself a pretty good conversationalist in most social circles and without a doubt have been a practitioner of what is now widely known as Game, for the past 10 years.
    My issue with hipster bars is that there is an air of snobbishness about them. They want to hold some superiority over us “normal” guys. Especially when a tall, athletic handsome man walks in, wearing jeans and a t shirt rather than normal hipster attire. I find it a lot harder to talk to people as they are both intimidated by my appearance, and as such want to hold court since I am on their turf. To me seems like a typical defense mechanism of nerds finally having a chance to crowd out the cool kid, if you will. Not to say I can’t break through if given a chance, but hell at some point you just don’t give a fuck to try to get in with people acting like that. That said, I still don’t mind hanging out there but I wouldn’t classify the crowd as open minded and generally accepting of everyone. This goes for quite a few hipster bars that I’ve been to. The bartenders and staff are usually very guilty of the above.

    • Oh man, as soon as you said “about an hour east of Buffalo”…
      I have a few friends that went to Buffalo for their education, each one of them hated it, said it was the least social place in the world, so there is a chance that Rochester has the same vibe

  5. yousowould says:

    Unless American hipsters are vastly different, I completely cannot agree with this… After spending the last year in an area of London that is considered to be one of the foremost “up and coming” trendy/hipster areas, I found them to be an introverted, cliquey bunch, who actually look down their noses at those who don’t follow their ideal of “hey, let’s all be individuals by hanging around in groups all dressed the same as each other and not talking to anyone that we don’t already know”

  6. Pingback: If You Hate Bars and Clubs, You Should Become a Hipster

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