Every single hot girl under 26

Let me tell you something about every single hot girl under the age of 26:

  • They have 75 cousins, 67 college friends and 32 high school friends visiting NYC at any given time
  • They have the most demanding work schedules, often having to work way late thanks to their “asshole bosses”
  • They have 12 friends that recently got dumped by their asshole boyfriends and are completely devastated, so they need to be comforted.
  • They have the health and immune system of Mr Glass from the movie Unbreakable (one of Samuel L Jackson’s more underrated performances)

As you can see, hot girls under the age of 26 have incredibly busy lives and it’s a damn miracle if you hang out with one at all.

Until you fuck them and fuck them hard. Then all of those things above seem to mysteriously disappear, funny, isn’t it?

I slipped last night. I forgot how busy these hot young girls are before hard sex (unless you’re a Yankee, that seems to have the same effect as hard sex), and made plans to meet this hot 22 year old at 8 o’clock. I get a text at 7:50 apologizing profusely that she couldn’t make it. However, at 7:50 I was on the subway heading over to meet her, so I only got the text right as I arrived, with my trademark perfect timing, at 8 o’clock.

And I wasn’t mad at her. It’s 2012, flaking for a hot thin young girl you haven’t fucked hard yet is to be expected (did I say flaking? I meant the myriad of valid reasons i described above). I was mad at myself for not making a backup plan and letting this put a damper on my evening. It was a Tuesday night, and everything in NYC that isn’t in the Meatpacking district (where the party starts at midnight no matter what) just had dive bars with the happy hour crowd already clearing out. It was rather depressing really. Always have a backup plan.

 

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One Response to Every single hot girl under 26

  1. JC says:

    Just found your blog recently — it’s good stuff.

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