“Dude, you’re not gonna believe this, I pretty much just got it on with Stiffler’s mom”.
All stories have a good captivating beginning, and this one was no different. My roommate has just come back from another date fully set up on the internet, and he was in incredible high spirits.
“But I don’t know if we’re ever gonna get to do the weekend thing, I’m not really into cougars , plus I got two more dates set up for this week and like 10 girls I haven’t even replied to yet. I gotta say, I never knew internet dating would be this EASY”.
And usually it isn’t. Internet dating for years has been a mystery to even the most seasoned of players, and having tried several different methods myself, I wasn’t any closer to getting the one thing every guy strives for online – consistency. We all know the story – just about every moderate to good looking female routinely gets her inbox filled to the brim with repetitive messages, and even if one person genuinely stands out – he might be really hard to see. I know – I’ve created a girls profile on okcupid years ago to see what dudes are writing, my 300 message inbox got filled up in less than a week.
After a while, most people give up and put online dating as a background activity, with most stories of success coming from guys that say their “friend is over 6 feet tall, has excellent pictures with at least one picture showing off his body, and displays his large income in the profile. Face it dude, girls online are at their shallowest, and unless you’re tall, good looking and have money, then don’t bother”.
However, my roommate is 5’7, he’s in good shape but not bodybuilding male model show your abs in every picture status, and he lives in the same NYC shoe box that I do. So what is his secret? I’ve teased you long enough, here it is.
- He signed up for howaboutwe.com. This NYC based site (and sorry, it only covers New York for now), lets people browse not just profiles, but actual dates that people suggest, hence the name. For example, a proposed date you can search by will be “how about we… go to a wine bar and then go for a walk over the brooklyn bridge?”. ((That is an actual suggested date by a site user)).
- Suggest a date that’s far away (in distance or time), that you enjoy doing, and is more like a 3rd-4th date activity. Do you like to hike? Go on wine tastings? Play paintball? Use that as your date suggestion, and make sure to say its a far away date. His suggestion would be something like “How about we… go to Pennsylvania and I can teach you to play paintball”. Or “How about we go deep into long island and we can learn to surf”. Note – awesome activities that he loves to do, are far away and require some sort of skill to do. Or something that requires tickets and will happen at a future day – “how about we… go see Saturday night live December 11th, I got a pair of tickets.”
- Wait. Trust me, they will respond, and in large numbers.
- Set up a small, cheap “getting to know you” date. Preferably near your house. Use this time to find out more about the girl and go about your usual date routine. Remember, in the back of both of your minds you are dangling the super awesome suggested travel or future date, so this essentially evens out the “chasing”. You are no longer chasing the girl, she is chasing something that you’re offering.
- Hook up. You did plan the date near your house, right? Also give your roommate a high five before you do.
- Repeat steps 4 and 5 as needed. I mean you’re not just gonna take anyone on this day long activity? Right?
- After a few cheap dates and hookups, if the girl has proven herself cool – take her to the originally suggested date. If she’s a cool girl and has proven herself as a cool girl, go enjoy the activity that you love with her and let the romance blossom. Yes, I just said “let the romance blossom” lol.
Now, this system isn’t for everyone, and it does come with some warnings: this can only be done in NYC, since howaboutwe.com only serves this city; there are way fewer girls on this site than more “traditional” ones like match.com and okcupid; howaboutwe.com is a paid site, so you’ll have to pay a registration fee. If that didn’t deter you – go out there and hook up!
Just don’t forget to give me a high five when you do:-).