Facebook has a funny way of connecting people. After adding Neil Strauss as a facebook friend months after reading his infamous book “The Game”, I began receiving lots of random friend requests from other wannabe PUAs around the world. Yes, there are plenty. Just search facebook for the last name “PUA”, you won’t be disappointed. It wasn’t long before I got my first invite to a PUA lair event in NYC. With my game a bit stagnant and my curiosity peaked, I decided to check it out. I figured I might learn something new. What followed was a little shocking.
First off, the meeting space was in a dance and acting rehearsal center, and the first thing I saw when I walked in were dancers of all ages. Was I in the wrong place? No, there it was, the familiar look of peacocking, in full presence. I have never really seen intense peacocking till that day, thinking that the infamous Mystery and Neil Strauss pic was just a tall tale.
Then I heard some really small skinny dude talking about a yoga class he took and how it uplifted his spiritual presence. I was not really surprised, considering Neil Strauss verbally dick rode all those spiritual guys in “the game”. But hey, I was there and I had an open mind.
Luckily for me, the guys that spoke at the very first lair meeting I attended were Rob Judge and Zack Bauer, two guys whose philosophy on girls influences till this day. So I figured, what the heck, I’ll come to a few of these. Now, one year later I can give you a good description of what goes on there, so here we go – the good, bad and ugly of the NYC lairs.
- The speakers, knowing that they have very little time to talk, usually give you their “best material”. You really save a lot of time, money and effort, and without the need to filter through marketing bullshit. I heard that Richard La Ruina, aka Gambler, had a notorious reputation of being more of a marketer than a coach, but when I heard him speak, he really got to the core of what his philosophies were about, and I actually learned something
- You can potentially meet good macking buddies. A lot of times friends of yours wont be down to go out on certain nights, and I absolutely hate going out gaming alone, so it’s good to meet a few people that want to be solid wingmen
- A huge chunk of the people that come there are socially inept in one way on another, and therefore make SHITTY wingmen. From lifelong nerds, to people new to the USA with the unsexiest of accents, to people who think verbal game is the end all, be all of self improvement (and therefore do not concentrate on their appearance). You can tell – a lot of these guys need help, on the bright side, however, they usually are persistent with their changes. But I don’t want a protege – I want an even matched wing, or better yet – someone BETTER than me.
- Lack of follow through – I talked to a BUNCH of people there about potentially hanging out, got emails, numbers, all sorts of other contact info – but only hung out with a small percentage of the guys. Turns out wingmanning too is a numbers game
- It’s a weird jockeying for status battle. Everyone wants to be the next great PUA, so they brag, gloat, and dress to a Sunday afternoon lair meeting like they’re going to a Saturday night fashion show. It kind of a weird way that men try to impress other men. Now, it’s in the middle because yes, people lie (thats bad), but trying to live up to the hype and impress someone else might be extremely motivating to some (it was for me, kind of brought me back to the good old team sports days). Still, it felt weird
The Ugly – this section is very important
- People Lie and “Embellish the truth”. There was always a question and answer session before each meeting. You can tell a lot of these guys are exaggerating, you can tell a lot of these guys are straight bullshitting. My bullshit detector is very strong, but to an absolute beginner – they might believe the hype. It’s like keyboard jockeying – live and in front of you!
- Some Instructors are either horrible or limited. I think I’ll let my friend’s post on Roissy’s blog answer that. I was there. The presenter was Nick Sparks of The Social Man. And everything said in that post is true.
So all in all it was an entertaining experience. Would I recommend it to others? Sure, because going to these meeting represents a proactive step in getting better with girls, which we can all respect and agree on. Just keep in mind the points I outlined above.
How To find a NYC lair:
I take care of everything, my loyal readers:-)
Pickup Artist Events – the newest, but most well organized bunch. Their instructors are the top flight popular guys (they had BradP, Adam Lyons, Juggler, Gambler – all the guys you heard of), and they organized a Pickup and Dating conference in NYC. The downside – a lot of people that visit are fanboys of various instructors, but, in their defense, I have yet to go out with any of the people I met there (been getting steady action on my own from around the time they started). Still – solid place to learn.
NYC Wingmen – they have been around longer, yet their speakers aren’t as well known as the other guys, yet this is the place I met my most solid wingmen. Highly recommended for that. Yet I havent gone there since PickupArtistEvents popped up, so things may have changed
AFC to PUA – I have yet to check it out, but supposedly, the guy that runs this – NathanPUA – ALLEGEDLY CHOKED ONE OF HIS FORMER STUDENTS. You read that right. A student got a bad bootcamp, then got chocked for it. And he runs an NYC lair. I am now intrigued to see what kind of shit show they run.
Hope this helps, who knows, you might see me at one of these events, I’ll be the guy whose advice is mostly ignored because it’s too much “common sense” and less “gamey game”