Manspiration Thursday – Teddy Roosevelt!

In today’s society, sometimes we forget what it means to really be a man. And with good reason – society has changed more in the last 100 years than in centuries before. People are lost, conflicting ideas fill their head. But real hardcore manliness is universal, so I decided that every Thursday, I will post a “Manspiration” – dudes that have kicked ass, and will inspire us to do the same. So who better to start this feature with than TEDDY MOTHERFUCKING ROOSEVELT.

Teddy Roosevelt is watching you masturbate

Teddy Fucking Roosevelt has accomplished way too many things to list here, but he would come back from the dead and beat me up if i didn’t try. That’s how badass he was.  So badass that cracked.com named him the most badass president ever:

Checking Teddy Roosevelt’s resume is like reading a How-To guide on ass-kicking manliness. He was a cattle rancher, a deputy sheriff, an explorer, a police commissioner, the assistant Secretary of the Navy, the governor of New York, and a war hero. Out of all of his jobs, hobbies and passions, Roosevelt always had a special spot in his heart for unadulterated violence. In 1898, Roosevelt formed the first U.S. Volunteer Cavalry Regiment, known as the Rough Riders. Most people already know of the Rough Riders and their historic charge up San Juan Hill, but few know that, since their horses had to be left behind, the Riders made this charge entirely on foot. You just could not stop this man from violencing the hell out of a San Juan Hill.

And that’s before his presidency of course. No dodging troubles, no fear, no regrets. Admit it, you’re already impressed.

His leadership, his ability to empathize with people while at the same time leading them with awesome ass kicking energy, and his bond (and I mean it in the most brutal way possible) with nature made him an inspiration to us all.

However, the most badass thing he has ever done – he got shot in the chest during a speech… and finished his speech. And you thought talking to a cutie at the bar while her friends cock block is tough! I can only speculate that Teddy worked the bullet would into his speech – “I just got shot in the chest, just like you’ll get shot in the chest by all these taxes”. A boy can hope.

So congratulations Teddy Roosevelt, you are a manspiration!

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2 Responses to Manspiration Thursday – Teddy Roosevelt!

  1. Pingback: Manspiration Thursday – Ted Williams | Kid Strangelove

  2. Tom says:

    Yes! Well stated my good man.

    Where the fuck are the comments acknowledging this goddamn fine post?

    Come on people.

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